Monday, September 1, 2008

My Cat

I have a quite interesting cat. Its name is Comel. Don’t let that cute name fool you. Comel is not like any other ordinary cats that you have ever seen in your entire life. My cat has brown, orange and black fur and a very short tail. Believe it or not, my cat is a very skilled soldier and a professional killer. It can kill you with 297 different ways without even moving a single muscle. It even has a Brazilian meowing accent.

The unique characteristic of my cat is that it is actually a former Brazilian Commando Frogman from GRUMEC unit. I’m not kidding. The Frogman is someone who is trained to dive or swim usually for combat and infiltration missions. It is not really much of a cat doesn’t it. Comel has been to several missions around the world such as the Amazon’s rainforest, Afghanistan, Africa and just recently in Russia.

Like any other military men or in my case military animals, my cat love guns, grenades and high powered rifles. Its preferable type of gun is the Colt Model 653 M16A1 carbine. Comel occasionally involves in assassination missions mainly targeting the president of the United State of America. Don’t worry. It hasn’t been caught, yet. In assassination missions, it would usually use the McMillan Tac-50 sniper rifle. This is because the longest recorded kill in history is made by this weapon. On March afternoon in 2002, Corporal Rob Furlong of the Princess Patricia's Canadian Light Infantry (PPCLI) killed an enemy combatant from 2,430 meters with American 750 grain Hornady A-MAX very-low-drag bullets.

Unlike cats’ natural behavior, this one love to wear cloth. Not those girly sewed-up dress but more like a bullet proof vest. I think it is BA7911-VIP body armor
protection level IIIA. On the top of that, it only got it from the internet. It makes me wonder how my own cat can easily get such thing legally and from my own home computer.

That is not the strangest thing yet. Behind of my house there is an AH-64D Apache helicopter. If you don’t know about it, Apache is an all-weather day-night military attack helicopter with a four-bladed main and tail rotor and a crew of two pilots who sit in tandem. Don’t laugh. It’s supposed to be the advanced model of Apache and is equipped with an improved sensor suite and weapon systems. It carries a 30 mm M230 Chain Gun under the aircraft's nose and a mixture of AGM-114 Hellfire and Hydra 70 rocket pods on four hard points mounted on its stub-wing pylons. That’s why you shouldn’t mess around with my cat.

My cat’s favorites food is of course fish but not the kind of fish that your mom can get at the supermarket. Its favorite’s fish is the Maryland darter or its scientific name is Etheostoma sellare. It can only be found in Deer Creek, Maryland. The fish is so rare because of its rare habitat requirements. The only way to get this fish is through the black market. As you can see my cat is a very dangerous animal and probably my ticket to my own funeral. Nevertheless, it is my cat and I can’t say that I like or hate it that much. I guess what I can really say is that life itself is very weird and so is my Comel.

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